Madder and badder than the 15th

Sunday, 30 November 2008

Scientific Advancement

At least it may make you think?


Wednesday, 6 August 2008

Eulogy for Fred

Eulogy for Fred
By his wife "D" at the Semaphore Worker's club

A Gypsy once told Fred that he would die when he was 27. Instead, he seemingly, dodged his destiny when he sailed to Australia, landed at Outer Harbor in February 1958 had his 27th birthday in June of that year. He then lived on for another 5 decades.

We were £10 tourists, Pommy bastards to some Australian, sometimes said affectionately, sometimes not. They also called us the great unwashed because they thought we didn't take enough baths. We were never whinging Poms though. Despite homesickness and setbacks we were here to stay. Fred's first job was working for a Ukrainian family who owned a butcher's shop near the migrant hostel. The old man told Fred, at the end of his first week that he wouldn't be paying the full wage because he didn't have Australian credentials. Fred brought in the union. The old man promptly sacked him. A skilled tradesman who had managed butcher's shops in England since he was 20. Sacked! Fred was mortified. The union advised him to work his notice and then they would throw the book at the old man. But then the old lady got into the act and started spitting in his face and waiving knives at him. Fred thought the next step might lead to them digging a big hole in the back yard. So he walked out and got a job in the Port, where he found himself among mates, the shop manager was so indignant at his treatment he practically gave him a job on the spot.

We were still on the hostel and not too happy with the accommodation when a job was advertised, with a house, in Barmera, in the Riverland.

Travelling there by bus was a real eye-opener. It looked like cowboy country to us. The manager of the butcher's shop gave us a bed the first night and it didn't inspire confidence when, sleeping in the son's room we saw a jar of picked snakes on top of the wardrobe.

In Barmera, Fred worked not only as a butcher but as a casual bar-hand at the pub and a weekend grape picker during the season. Sticky work. He came home looking like the creature from the swamp covered in red dust and grape juice.

Eventually we moved back to the city and Fred managed several butcher's in the suburbs. His customers were his friends, he'd joke with them, and give their kids a piece of fritz and bring home stories of some of the odder ones.

In the 70's we sold our house in Modbury and took off, in the caravan, to travel around and see something of Australia. After nearly a year we returned and Fred fulfilled a long held wish. He bought his own business. The shop was in Elizabeth North and many of his customers were typical Aussie battlers, migrants and pensioners. The pensioners liked their "lovely butcher" who would serve them just one chop, or a couple of eggs and a bacon rasher. No amount was too small. "You're all customers" he'd say.
Old Jock a garrulous Scotsman liked to drop in for a yarn, which was alright until he brought his bottle of whisky in with him.
Occasionally someone would try to take advantage of Fred's good nature. One couple bought a cheap side of lamb from the market and then brought it in to the shop and asked Fred to cut it up for them. And he did "Just this once" he said.
A man brought his cat around for Fred to de-sex. It was a fully grown Tom-cat too. He opted out of that one.

We left Elizabeth, the shop and the customers, reluctantly, when Fred's health deteriorated. He eventually had to have an aortic aneurysm repair. We moved to Semaphore. Semaphore was our kind of place. Working class values, labour voters, more eccentric "characters" than you could poke a stick at. Great old pubs, where you could have great old sing songs and good homely meals and most importantly, particularly for Fred close proximity to the beach. He loved walking along the beach, sometimes for hours. He was great walker.

He'd take his campervan and his bottle of Cooper's down to the esplanade and sit with the door wide open, listening to the radio, picking the horses and watching the passing parade. People would stop and talk to him. He liked that.

Our eldest grandson reminded me the other day, of how he used to sit in the van with "granddad" playing cards with the small change Fred kept in a plastic bag in the glove box. Fred always let him win a couple of games so he'd have some money to go home with.

It's a long time since we lived in Semaphore and although it's changed, it's still a bit like coming home.

In the intervening years there have been troubled times, unhappy events and ill health, but happy times too.

There are a lot of memories, too many to recount and as I process them I feel "I'd like to remember the best and let go the rest".

Fred loved much in life and suffered much in health, especially in these last few years. We all felt something of his pain as his personality disappeared into his illness.

It's just a fanciful idea I know, but I'd like to think of him on a beach somewhere - walking.

Thank you for listening.

Fred, born in Middleton, UK in June 1931, died August 2008.


Monday, 11 June 2007


None of that poncy rubbish
Are you tired of those noncy friendship poems that sound good, but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true mateship. You will see no cutesy little smiley faces in this chain-email - just the stone cold truth of our great friendship.
1. When you are sad - I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against  the bastard(s) who made you sad.
2. When you are blue - I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3. When you smile - I will know you finally got laid.
4. When you are scared - I will rip the piss about it every chance I get.
5. When you are worried - I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you shut the hell up .
6. When you are confused - I will use little words.
7. When you are sick -  Stay the hell away from me until you are well  again. I don't want whatever you have.
8. When you fall - I will point and laugh at you - silly bugger.
9. This is my oath... I pledge it to the end. "Why?" you may ask;
"because you are my friend".
Mateship is like weeing your pants,
everyone can see it,
But only you can feel the true warmth.
Send this to ten of your closest friends,
then get depressed because you can only think  of four


PS Stolen and propagated off the internet somewhere...

Saturday, 9 June 2007

I hate Memes

Thanks Foilest for this little challenge...
I appreciate the intent and thought, and the Esprit de Corps I just, just, oh I don't know... bah humbug!

1. Seven Things About Me That May Surprise You

1) I like music like The Spice Girls, my favourite is Baby Spice and to demonstrate it's not just a one off I also like B*witched
2) I've eaten KFC in the past week (palm oil and all... "Palm oil is one of the few vegetable oils relatively high in saturated fats (such as coconut oil) and thus semi-solid at room temperature.")
3) I also like broccoli
4) I don't like beer (that's it I'm out of the blokes club!)
5) I pick my nose when you aren’t looking.
6) In the A(distinction) B(credit) C(pass) D(borderline pass) U(unsatisfactory) scale, I got a D in English in year 11 (16 yo), and
I think I only got that because I got As and B+s in everything else. (Just don't tell me that this is so obvious from my prose)
7) I have been sacked from a job for unconscionable conduct

2. List out your top 5 favourite places to eat at your location
Maybe it should be specified pre-kids, with kids or post-kids?
Mind you doctors do get to have cushy dinners paid for by pharmaceutical companies for "educational" events.
1) Duthy Thai (although it has changed hands since it's hey-day when they knew me by the sound of my voice when I phoned)
2) Chloe's (very orthodox international cuisine, but consistent, lovely mansion with several rooms)
3) Russell's Pizza, Friday nights only, always something radical...
4) Cafe Violetta (vegetarian Sicillian food) - alas no more...
5) Home, the Boss is a damn fine cook....

3. Tag 5 other people...
instead I thought I might list...
5 URLs discussing Blogs and Memes

First, all that is Wiki:
Tracking information epidemics
All Hail Eris!, Hail Discordia!
In the name of Blog-Science
More-on blog tag

Saturday, 12 May 2007

Stolen from others

This post is very Derivisivicist(sp?),
Happy Birthday Foilest,
You, Sarah and Mrs Benedict are all Tauri - I think it says something, but not sure what.


Zen Guide to Life by Maharishi Fattifatbastard

∆ Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either, just fuck off and leave me alone.
∆ The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a flat tyre.
∆ The darkest hours come just before the dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbour's milk and newspaper, that's the time to do it.
∆ Sex is like air. It only becomes really important when you aren't getting any.
∆ Don't aspire to become irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
∆ Remember, no one is listening until you fart.
∆ Never forget that you are unique, like everyone else.
∆ Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
∆ If you think nobody cares whether you're dead or alive, try missing a couple of mortgage payments
∆ Before you judge someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you judge them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
∆ If at first you don't succeed, so much for skydiving.
∆ Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
∆ Have you ever lent someone $20 and never seen that person again? It was probably worth it.
∆ If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
∆ Some days we are the flies; some days we are the windscreen.
∆ Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time.
∆ Good judgment comes from experience; experience comes from bad judgment.
∆ The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
∆ A closed mouth gathers no feet.
∆ There are two theories about how to win an argument with a woman. Neither one works.
∆ Generally speaking, you aren't learning much if your lips are moving.
∆ Never miss a good chance to shut up.
∆ Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
∆ When we are born we are naked, wet, hungry, and we get smacked on our arse. From there on in, life gets worse
∆ The most wasted day of all is one in which we have not laughed.

Remember not to forget that which you do not need to know.

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Sunday, 18 March 2007

They* are coming for us next...

Hey BJ you are more paranoid than I am, I think you should read this...

As the new frontier is slowly settled, first comes the money, then came the lawyers and then came the rules

from Medpundit
comes This story Is Dr. Blogger telling too much?

A surge in medical blogs gives readers inside info, but critics say the diaries threaten patients' privacy
March 14, 2007
As the rage of Internet blogging spreads across professions, doctors' observations and opinions about patients -- some expressed in graphic detail -- are now ending up on the Web for all to see.
Hundreds of doctors across the country are writing Internet diaries that sometimes include harsh judgments of patients, coarse observations and distinct details of some cases.

Critics say the blogs cross into an ethical gray area and threaten patient privacy while posing liability risks for health workers and their employers.

Not so Cheers

* Lawyers, accountants and politicians


Sunday, 25 February 2007

It must be my turn

Well I'm buried deep in bloody medical-legal reports. Where else but family medicine/general practice would one be expected to write a comprehensive report (with medicologal ramifications including the potential to end up in court, well no never actually ended up in court yet, dates keep getting deferred, moved courts, dropped, claims accepted etc., but that doesn't mean I still haven't blocked off a half or whole day from seeing patients on that day - sigh) for AUD$57 with a 10% bonus if done within 7 days of the original request!.

Well I saw these wrist bands - I must say they appealed

Bleak Wristbands
All those bright rubber bracelets are so darned positive and life affirming. Don't any of those trendy folks that wear them ever have a bad day? Well, these bracelets are perfect for any day that is less than perfect. Wear one and you could be the tiny storm cloud in someone else's sunny day.

The solution "The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers"

If you don't believe me about the moral vacuum of a person who could argue the side of the devil for the turn of a coin* have a read of a A lawyer's interpretation** of shakespeare's famous quote "The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers"

Outdone, outplayed, outlasted by lawyers***

* horribly misquoted from the bowels of my memory - even Google can't find it, I think it is something from “Law is a Bottomless-Pit, it is a Cormorant, a Harpy, that devours every thing” by John Arbuthnot

** If you go to the page, did you notice the lovely decor in his rooms? that wouldn't come cheap, image a doctor's office looking like that!

*** Probably outlast cockroaches
Q: What do you call a male lawyer with an IQ of 60 who is wearing a black dress? A: Your honour.

Monday, 29 January 2007


Dunno why but this one got to me...

lap band surgery

see Post Secret


Monday, 15 January 2007

Woolworths' ceo pledges support for drought reflief

About a recent viral marketing campain:

Woolworths' ceo pledges support for drought reflief
(yes the page really is mis-spelled)

Actually help the farmers by boycotting the Duopoly (Coles-Myer and Woolworths). Both of whom are buying farm produce at very low cost, using the "drought" and farmer's desperation to sell stock etc... by offering very low prices that is not being reflected at the till in the supermarkets. Better to help the farmers by buying from the Central market or places like the Sunday Farmers Market!.

Duopoly power articles
"'Duopoly' blamed for prices",23739,21011586-3102,00.html
From the Replies in this blog
1: Liquor profits are not being donated.
2: Supporting small towns like Beaufort, which is where the Rainbow Serpent Festival will be held has prioroty over supporting large multi-nationals that will get their donations reimbursed at Tax time.

Actually there isn't much in the press online, I wonder what Woolies' advertising budget is like?

Farmer's Markets in SA - including the one in Adelaide (at the Showgrounds every Sunday morning) Or even better your local area)
Or on thingy.. with a drought tag


PS Please pass this on!
PPS see B2C in this explaination of viral marketing
PPPS So spend $100 at Woolworths and they will pass on $3 (estimate) after "costs"
and why pick a Tuesday the slowest day of the week- what about a late night Thursday just before the long weekend?
PPPPS Am I the only one that sees this as a cynical marketing exercise given the recent bad press the duopoly have been getting?

Thursday, 7 December 2006

Christmas Carols for...

To go with the psychiatric hotline help service comes


* 1. Schizophrenia --- Do You Hear What I Hear?

* 2. Multiple Personality Disorder --- We Three Kings Disoriented Are

* 3. Dementia --- I Think I'll be Home for Christmas

* 4. Narcissistic --- Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me

* 5. Manic --- Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets
and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees

* 6. Paranoid --- Santa Claus is Coming to Get Me

* 7. Borderline Personality Disorder --- Thoughts of Roasting on an Open

* 8. Personality Disorder --- You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm
Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll Tell You Why

* 9. Attention Deficit Disorder --- Silent night, Holy oooh look at the
Froggy - can I have a chocolate, why is France so far away?

* 10. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder --- Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,
Jingle Bells, Jingle,Bells, Jingle Bells,